How To Bulletproof Your Outdoor Wedding
Without Accidently Killing Your Guests!
So, you want to get married outside? Adorable. Romantic. Gambling with mother nature? This is the no-holds-barred, laugh-through-the-chaos guide to making sure your big day doesn’t turn into a Discovery Channel survival episode.
Welcome to the Ceremony (Also Known as: The Oven)
“Would everyone please take their seats for the ceremony?”
Translation: “Please sit perfectly still while slowly baking alive.”
There’s no breeze. The sun is personally crisping your shoulders. Your lower back has become a slip’n’slide of sweat and perfume. Nana is three minutes away from fainting and taking the spotlight, and Uncle Gary is using the order of service to fan himself like a 1950s Southern belle.
Then—BAM—suddenly it’s your turn to speak. You mumble, “Yes, yes, I do,” praying no one notices the sweat moustache forming on your upper lip.
Dress Code: Not a Sauna Costume Contest
You know what’s worse than sweating in formalwear? Sweating in formalwear while pro photos are being taken.
Rule #1: Light, airy fabrics. White and pale tones reflect heat. Black and navy? Congratulations, you’ve just microwaved yourself.
Rule #2: Spell. It. Out. On. The. Invites. Because if you don’t, someone will arrive in a velvet three-piece suit “because it’s wedding appropriate.”
Pro tip: Matching guest outfits in a cohesive palette not only look amazing in photos but also make it easier to spot the one cousin who’s drunk before noon.
Guest Comfort: Treat Them Like Pampered Zoo Animals
Outdoor ceremonies mean your guests are stuck exactly where you put them—like potted plants that can’t find shade or water.
Solutions:
Ceremony in the shade (trees, tents, or strategically placed large relatives).
Late afternoon start time (bonus: better lighting, fewer heatstroke lawsuits).
Props! Hand out parasols, fans, or misting bottles.
Muddy? Carpet the aisle like the glamorous swamp royalty you are.
Chilly? Blankets. Umbrellas. Hot toddies.
Your goal: make them enjoy the weather, not endure it after all this is a celebration!
Plan B: Because Mother Nature Is Petty
Weather apps lie. Farmers lie, Clouds lie. Always have a backup plan that can handle biblical floods, scorching heatwaves, and that one freak hailstorm common locals we know about unexpected flooding!
Tell your venue. Tell your vendors. Tell your best man who thinks “we’ll just wing it” is a viable strategy.
Remember: instruments, speakers, and your cake all hate rain as much as your guests do.
Hydrate or Face-Plant
Alcohol + heat + excitement = a dance floor that looks like a fainting goats compilation video.
Combat this by making hydration sexy: big pitchers with lemon, cucumber, mint, and ice cubes the size of children’s building blocks. Station them everywhere. If you want guests’ conscious during your speeches, make water part of the vibe.
Style the Outdoors Like It’s Your Catwalk
The outdoors is your venue, so treat it like a diva.
Check what’s in bloom.
Match your colours to nature’s palette.
Avoid styling that screams, “We didn’t Google this location first.”
If done right, your photos will look so good you’ll have to convince people they’re not AI-generated.
Go Big or Go Indoors
Why stop at “ceremony and dinner” when you could have:
A mini county fair (sack races, riding bull, ice cream stand or showbags and ball pits!).
A legit music festival (wristbands, banners, questionable food trucks).
A medieval joust. (Okay, maybe not. Or maybe yes.)
You’re not trapped inside four walls—lean into the chaos. The more ridiculous the concept, the more legendary the wedding story. And please if youre doing something crazy like this call me for a discount to photograph it!
Final thought: An outdoor wedding is a high-risk, high-reward mission. Prepare like a survivalist, accessorise like a fashion editor, and hydrate like you’re training for a sport. Do that, and the only thing guests will remember is how epic it was—not the part where Gary passed out in the bushes.
